appreciate the basics

i woke up today having broken into a cold sweat, still trying to make sense of the copious amount of death over the seven hours last spent; how the fuck did i sleep through those events?

enter shoulder lane, a bold sway left and no metallic frames in the way, going straight, coasting with no delay... a golden grate slowly strays into view, about a meter away, face placed into suede, no time to eschew, a blue buick gone astray, maybe two spaces away we grazed side-laced pavement and skated, skidded, i managed to spit up a shout without a bit of sound coming out, i reached out, tugged the driver and let her know that i loved-- that i love-- that i was...

granted, something told me i might die sometime right between twilight and sunlight, so i planted big hugs on my family the night prior.

i'm demanding an answer and i deserve to know why i'm a damned damper... damaged, detached and unlatched, so quick to quit quaint relationships, skipping the painstaking nulling of ropes that go to those who matter most, braving jaded phases and fading in hazy spaces, gracing folk with an abated presence... my scope dissipates, my soul left effervescent...