i stand here, motionless, letting the water run down my back and over my shoulders. i reach behind me and turn the knob counter-clockwise, slowly, letting the increasingly hotter specks pelt my skin, like hundreds of little bb pellets leaving indents wherever they make contact, until the sensation becomes uniform. i wish i could just stand here in the heat...
stand - not with things called muscles contracting as a result of electric signals being carried through a nervous system originating from a brain that is fated to natural deterioration sometime within the next 60 years;
in the heat - not under a shower head releasing water and steam that was subjected to conduction via hydrocarbons stripped from the earth and ignited to produce an excess of greenhouse gasses;
here - not on the 2nd floor of a university apartment located 20 miles from my hometown on a vast continent in the western hemisphere of a planet that's adept at assembling atoms and molecules in such a way that life comes about via a concept we call 'emergence'...
sustained ideas of things with no meaning -- ideas of things restricted from being integrated into the mind -- are what some philosophers call "isolated phenomena." in this state, they produce a sense of wonder. undeniably, time can (and maybe it always will) be one of these things.
ever wonder why we were so carefree as children? it's because we were naive; we didn't understand anything, and didn't care about trying to. that's how children are. every thing was an isolated phenomenon; every thing brought about wonder. yes, 'every thing', not 'everything.' but man, i wish i could traverse this arrow of time and stay locked in an arbitrary moment of 'back then'...
time. one of the mind's last uncharted territories. definitely the most sacred wonder. i think i should turn off this water and take a step back into reality. this is the one thing i need leave unperturbed...
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